Speaking your truth
Posted in Personal Growth
July 13, 2018

How To Stand Up For Yourself and Be Heard

Hello my loves, 
You may not know this about me but I used to be a super shy kid and still am as an adult, especially in a group setting. It takes me a long time to warm up to people and feel comfortable enough to voice my thoughts and opinions. I might be the perfect example of an introvert. Actually, if you google “definition of Introvert”, you might see my picture there 😉 
Buttttt anyway, the reason I bring it up is because there has been a lot going on at work these past few weeks. But one good thing that is coming out of this is that it has allowed me to look at what I do, how I do it and how I can improve. I’ve been challenged lately to to really stand my ground and voice my thoughts and opinions. Things can’t change if you don’t present ideas and have a discussion around it.
Until I’m comfortable with the people around me, I completely stress out about what to say, how to say it and who to say it to. One thing that has always bothered me about myself is that I’ve always been to shy or afraid to speak my mind. If I wanted to speak up in a meeting or classroom I used to have to plan it out word for word ahead of time. Even if I rehearsed it, my heart would start pounding, my mouth would get dry and I’d start to worry – “what if I sound like an idiot?”, “what if I stumble on my words?”, “what if I SOUND nervous?”. Sometimes I think the “what if game” will be the death of me.
Don’t tell me you’ve never been in the same boat.
standing up for yourself

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There’s a few different things at play here in my opinion. From not having enough confidence to not healing my shy scared inner child, to not giving enough love to my solar plexus and throat chakra (personal power and voice). As I’ve gotten older I’ve been able to look at these circumstances with clear eyes. Instead of beating myself up for not speaking up, or stumbling over my words, I now analyze it from more of an energetic perspective.
You may be reading this because you experience the exact same thing that I do. And I’d that’s the case, isn’t it nice to know that you’re not alone?😝
Chances are you’ve faced these issues at some point or you wouldn’t have been drawn to this blog post. Chances are if you experience the same things that I did, then you’re probably classified as an observer. You tend to watch people in the room and take in as much information as you can, even if you don’t voice your observations. If you’re looking to figure out how to speak up more, how to be heard and how to get that pounding heart of yours to chill out, keep reading.

How to Speak Up and Be Heard

I’m going to get the 3 most important things out of the way first. Here are a few DON’TS 
  1. Don’t sweat the small stuff. If you want to make sure you’re voice is heard and stand up for yourself its important to not be so hard on yourself. I know it seems super important in the moment but if you stumble on your words, or lose your train of thought, or have a shaky voice, chances are people won’t remember it 5 years from now, a year from now or even a month from now. It feels like a big deal right now (and it is!) But how big is it on the grand scale of things? 
  1. The other thing I need to get off my chest is this: don’t be a dick. The goal is NOT to intentionally embarrass or hurt someone. You’re goal is to feel confident and empowered to speak your truth. You know the saying:
“If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say it at all.”
  1. Also, this can be hard sometimes but its important to not speak from our good old friend Ego. Our Ego thinks it’s always right (don’t you hate people like that?). This is similar to the “don’t be a dick” statement. Don’t speak up just to prove someone wrong or because it’s more important to you to be acknowledged in some way. Don’t go on a power trip here, choose your words carefully. Once they come out, they can’t be taken back.
Phew! Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s focus on the TO-DO’s to gain more confidence and use your voice. Here are a few things I’ve learned that help me to speak up.

Tips To Speak Your Truth

1. Take a deep breath and center yourself. This calms down your body (and that pounding heart) and always gives you an opportunity to feel what you’re about to say. Does it feel good to you or does it feel snarky or rude? If it does, chances are its coming from a place of ego. Developing your intuition can help you to differentiate what’s coming from your heart and what’s coming from your ego. {side note: If you’re looking to develop your intuition check out my Intuitive Development course}

2. Think about what you want to say. No one likes a person who talks just for the sake of talking. You don’t want other people to wonder if you’re only talking because you love the sound of your own voice. Say what you mean and mean what you say. If you need to plan it out word for word, provide examples to back up your statement, then fine, do it if it makes you feel better and more confident.
3. If you’re feeling nervous about speaking up ask yourself this. What is the worst and best case scenario? Stick to only one scenario each or you’ll drive yourself crazy with all the out of this world, ridiculously bad what if’s that can happen. Now that you’ve thought about the best and the worst, how likely is the worst case scenario going to happen? Chances are incredibly unlikely. So go for it! Feel the fear and do it anyway.
4. How important is it for you to be heard? This is similar to point #2. (Don’t talk just for the sake of talking). Here’s a real life example: Earlier this week my boss was giving me a hard time about something that hadn’t been done yet in front of everyone else on my team. My first instinct was to stand up for myself and put him in his place (not always the best idea lol) but then I realized there would be no point. Not because what I had to say didn’t have value or truth but majority of it was coming from ego. I knew he was stressed and was taking a tiny detail out on me. In that moment, even though I was annoyed,  I realized it wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t important for me to be heard right then and there. It would have just gotten me all riled up and on the defensive. I’m not saying my boss was in the right. I can’t control his words or actions but I sure as hell can control mine. To me, that’s winning. Even if it was a small temporary hit to the ego.😉
5. Clear your throat chakra. (In this post) I mention chakras and how to know when they are out of balance. When it comes to your throat chakra, one of my favourite things to do is to wear a blue scarf and to focus a white light surrounding my chakra. You can rest a Lapis Lazuli or Sodalite crystal on your throat to infuse it with the healing energy from the crystal (or wear a necklace with that crystal). Of course you can also have a Reiki or chakra clearing session from a local energy practitioner. Clearing out the throat chakra, releases the negative and stuck energy that is found in there. I’ve you’ve really been having a hard time speaking your truth, I highly recommend starting with the energy in your throat chakra. 
At the end of the day it’s important to remember that we’re not perfect, no one is. Some days will be easier to stand in your power and say what’s on your mind and other days it will seem like just opening your mouth is a challenge. It’s okay! Take it one day at a time. You’re not going to wake up tomorrow and suddenly be some insane power house. Things take time and practice. 
Is there something else I missed that you think should be on here? Let me know in the comments!
Looking for some extra guidance in the month of July? Be sure to come back tomorrow where I post a video (for the first time ever) of me sharing with you what the energy for the rest of the month looks like.
I’ll give you a sneak peak… there’s mention of positive energy, analyzing and upleveling. Be sure to follow my Instagram page for notices as to when my posts become live!
See you tomorrow,

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