Finding confidence
Posted in Personal Growth
July 5, 2018

4 Ways To Become Self Confident

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The World Cup has been taking the world by storm, myself included! I’m not a huge sports person but I love a good soccer game. Every two years I religiously watch and get VERY involved in the Euro and World Cups. I’m not the best at following soccer throughout the rest of the year, but something about the loyalty, nationalism, excitement and good old fashioned shit talking just sucks me in. And I love every second of it….that is until of course my team loses lol. 
A friend at work was telling me that the goalie (Alireza Beiranvand) of Iran’s  team was homeless before he became a pro soccer (football / futbol?) player. It didn’t really sink in at the time (mostly because Iran was facing Portugal and watching every players move was more important to me than engaging in conversation).
Now that I have World Cup on the brain, and can think straight since I’m not watching a game at the moment, the whole thing is pretty incredible isn’t? The fact that a man can be homeless and has now found his calling and making however much money a year. It just goes to show you that your life can literally turn around in an instant. {Side Note: It turns out he was never actually homeless, but instead ran away from home to pursue his passion. You can read more about his story here.}

That’s why it drives me mental when people say they can’t do something.

I can’t be a doctor, I can’t get a better job, I can’t I can’t I can’t.  Who says you can’t? YOU are the only one saying you can’t. Your thoughts create your reality. If you’re going to constantly believe that you can’t uplevel in your life, then you’re going to be stuck with the same old routine. If you’re going to believe that nothing can change instead of believing in possibilities and looking for opportunities in every situation….then yeah, I guess you can’t get that better job. 
The limits that we place on ourselves literally blows my mind! We can achieve ANYTHING, yet we get caught up in the smallest things and believe the most ridiculous lies about ourselves, that let’s us tell a story about how we can’t do/achieve/be/have you name it. 

4 Steps To Becoming More Confident

I love having a visual so of course I’m going to tell you to grab a pen and paper, because it’s list time!

Write down a list of ALL the things you believe about yourself, both good and bad. EVERYTHING. When you’re done, review it. Are those bad things you listed about yourself actually true?
Now that you’ve recognized the fake lies you tell yourself, replace them with positive ones. Let’s say you wrote down that you’re not smart. Is that true or did you just care more about being social in high school than studying for tests? Maybe you learn better in a small or 1 on 1 setting instead of in a large classroom, I know I do. So really dissect those stories you tell yourself. Because what we perceive to be true and what is actually true, isn’t always the same thing.
I love having a visual. Sometimes we say things about ourselves and we don’t even notice. Now that you’ve recognized everything that ISN’T true, it’s time to replace it with things that ARE true. 
  1. Notice Your Thoughts – This one is by far the hardest BUT totally worth it!  Every time you think that old lie about yourself, replace it with the truth. 

  2. Mantra / Affirmation –  Find something positive to repeat to yourself to instill the positivity and the confidence. It’s a great way to kick out the negative phrases and beliefs. Does that saying from the movie The Help really resonate with you? Make it your daily mantra! Type in affirmations in Pinterest, you’ll get some pretty incredible results. Maybe you’ll find something you like on my Affirmations & Mantras Pinterest board. Or you can check out these 35 Affirmations that will change your life

  3. Sticky notes – Remember when I said I love visuals? Why not write out your affirmations (or just positive things) on sticky notes and put them throughout your house (or just on your bathroom mirror)?

  4. Reminders in your phone – We’re glued to them anyway. Put reminders in your phone to pop up at different times throughout the day. Tomorrow at 10 am put in something that will boost your confidence how about “you look beautiful today” then 2 days later at 1:30pm have another message pop up that says “You are capable of achieving amazing things”…. you get the idea.  
Having faith that something will come or that you can do/achieve something is as “simple” (and I use that word loosely) as noticing your thought patterns. When you feel frustrated, or overwhelmed, or experiencing lack of confidence, pay attention to the words that come out of your mouth at that time. Your thoughts can easily be altered if you’re aware enough of them. It’s easy to say I can’t, but when you say that, what do you really mean to say? Do you mean to say you’re scared? Do you mean to say you just don’t want to?
Saying I can’t is sending the vibration to the universe that you don’t believe in it or in yourself enough to make a change. How do you think the goalie from Iran felt while he was working 3 jobs pursuing his dream? If he could achieve great things, why can’t you? 
Please, have a little faith in yourself. You’re just as capable and as deserving as all the other amazing people on this planet. Who was Obama before he was president? Who was Oprah before she became the famous Oprah Winfrey? Who was Jay-z before he started selling millions of records? They were all just people like you and me. They had a dream, they believed in themselves and they worked their asses off to get to where they are now.
What do you want to work towards? What lies are you working on turning around? I’d love to know in the comments!
shout out to unsplash-logoJon Ly for this great image

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